Back to Life: From Rejection to Redemption

A few years ago, I was at a point I would describe now as an emptiness of the inner self, the soul. I believe I experienced death of my soul. I was living a normal life like most people, however there was no life inside me.

My days were flooded with the compulsion to perform. Fulfilling my role as a human being, as a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend, you name it. However, the essential part of being and living was missing. I had no real interests or likes and I did not joyfully engage with the world.

I lived for nothing and hoped for nothing. I knew something was wrong because I saw other people engage with life happily. I often thought of my body as a shell with nothing inside carrying me. 

Over conditioned by the world to be perfect, broken by society to be good and burdened by life to exist, somewhere in between, I died. 

I wept bitterly as I watched my life crumbling. My marriage was dead, my love for my children was bland and my career was neither here nor there. I watched the three arears that I had centred my life on fall apart. Rejection poured over me like it owned me. 

I remember telling God that I had nothing and I was nothing. God being so kind and loving, picked me up, He carried me lovingly and started to teach me to live again. One after the other, He pieced my broken life together. He taught me to live again and gave me a life to live for.

I had experienced three major rejection in my life and at this point and I had come to believe that I was not good, loved and worthy.

One day, I asked God to heal of all my pain. My prayer was go into all the hidden places of my brokenness and heal me.

When God started to heal me, I remember crying back to God and saying I didn’t want Him in certain areas because of how bad it hurt to have to deal with those issues. I was ignorant to the fact that the journey to healing was through my pain.

Today, my testimony is that God's redemptive love found me in all my rejection and raised my dead soul back to life. Through the fire that burned me I found the light in Jesus.

I write this like it is someone else's story. I can boldly say, I was once lost but now I am found, I once was dead but now I am alive. Through the redemptive love of God, I have experienced the immeasurable love of Jesus that has completely healed me. 

I died to my old self that was conformed to the pain and sin and I was raised to a new identity in Jesus. You can have this experience too by surrendering your life to Jesus, whether for the first time or a rededication of your life to Him.